*566

She was desperate and she was choosey at the same time and, in a way, beautiful, but she didn’t have quite enough going for her to become what she imagined herself to be.

Factotum by Charles Bukowski

Últimamente tengo muy poca paciencia. Miro cosas que no tengo que mirar, pienso cosas que no tendría que pensar, y no hago lo que debería hacer. Hay una entrevista con Three Colours esperando a que la traduzca y la publique. Hay comentarios sobre Passion Ate Dave que están deseando salir porque ‘Smoke and Mirrors‘ se está convirtiendo en una canción imprescindible. Hay una práctica de Derecho que tiene que ser entregada el día 17. No duermo bien, estoy siempre cansada. Apática. Repetitiva. Vuelvo a tener miedo de todo, vuelvo a preocuparme por todo y vuelvo a no hacer cosas por temor. Otra vez siento que me están quitando lo que soy, que no hay nada único en mi porque ahora está en otros. Ahogo. Tengo Nestea, comprado para mi. Como descubrir que Liza Minelli es hija de Judy Garland. Como Cyrano de Bergerac.

I have no patience at all lately. I check things I shouldn’t, I think about things I shouldn’t, and I don’t do what Iam supposed to. There’s an interview with Three Colours waiting to be translated and posted. There are reviews and comments about Passion Ate Dave waiting to be out because ‘Smoke and Mirrors‘ is becoming an essential song to me. There’s this essay for class that needs to be handed on the 17th. I don’t sleep well, I’m always tired. Apathetic. Repetitive. I’m afraid of everything again, I’m worried about everything and I’m not doing things because out of fear. Again, I’m feeling that I’m being stolen of what I am, that there’s nothing unique in me because now it’s in others. Suffocation. I have Nestea, bought just for me. Like discovering that Liza Minelli is Judy Garland’s daughter. Like Cyrano de Bergerac.

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