Life can be quite amazing sometimes. In a matter of weeks, my future changed from black to a light grey, something I couldn’t have even imagined at the beginning of summer. But changes can be terrifying too, and these days are a mix of excitement and fear. Am I doing the right thing? Will it work out? Trying my best to squash that annoying voice in my head, to quiet down all the noise in there. But it becomes too much sometimes, the squeaky demon living up there can be too powerful.
Luckily, there are songs that take over everything and give me peace. Like “Tiny Doors” by Hiatus. I talked about it here, and now it’s the soundtrack to my last sunset, filmed in what soon will be my hometown but not my home.
What I love about language
is what I love about fog:
what comes between us and things
grants them their shine. Take,
for instance, the estuary,
raised to a higher power
by airy sun-struck voile:
gunmetal cove and glittered bar
hung on the rim of the sky
like palaces in Tibet—
white buildings unreachable, dreamed and held
at just that perfect distance:
the world’s lustered by the veil.
Thank you, Amy.
The Apartheid in South Africa disappeared 18 years ago, racial segregation was banned and white supremacy over the black population ended. These days, Nelson Mandela -one of the most important figures of the movement that ended that horrible injustice- has been news due to his delicate health status. But something that I haven’t seen talked about much is an underlaying problem which I came across with yesterday: Kommandokorps. This extreme right-wing group is teaching white teenagers to reject Mandela’s vision of a multicultural world. And the worst part, to act upon it.
Ilvy Njiokiktjien is an independent photographer that has worked around the world, focusing on South Africa. She’s made several documentaries about life in that part of the world, and yesterday I got to see one that horrified me: Afrikaner Blood.
Some of you might have already seen the image above, as it won the World Press Photo Award in 2012 in the Contemporary Issues Category. It shows us a sergeant pointing a gun at a boy at the right wing Kommandokorps camp in South Africa. He is teaching the boys how to use guns. In said camp, white teenagers are taught to “defend themselves against crime” and are advised that they should not integrate in the new democratic South Africa. The documentary follows some of these boys after the camp, when they go back home and to their schools, were they continue their daily lives among black people. Something is different, though. And not right. They were born in an apartheid free country, they are sent to this camp and they have their minds changed.
When are we going to talk about these impending issues? Because this camp takes place 203km away from where the Spanish football team won their first World Cup. Back then, we all saw a very glamourous part of South Africa, but not its reality.
Someone once wondered what the world would be like if everybody walked their talk; if word was married with deed; promises delivered by action. It would be a very ugly world these days, if that were the case. Most of the people around us are egoistical creatures. We all are egoistical creatures in the end.
I’ve been feeling the need to disappear, to take a break. An hiatus. But from what? I’ve been doing nothing for three years! I need a break of doing nothing. I need something, a sparkle, a little push. Wether willingly or not, days pass by in a blur of nothing. Words are thought, scenes are imagined, ideas are treasured. Actions are inexistent. Sometimes my actions, sometimes others’ actions, sometimes life’s actions.
Tiny Doors by Hiatus.
It is like sitting on a bench in a park. Watching people come and go. A dog chasing a bird, a kid playing ball. The mother watching closely as the daughter comes down the slide, her laughter traveling in the air. Laughter that scrapes a smile on your face. What’s better that a kid’s laughter? I think there is something better: the feeling caused you being the reason that has made that kid laugh. Because even then, we are egoistical creatures. In the end.