When I woke up this morning and realised what we celebrate today, I started to think of a list of all the women I admire and love dearly, but I don’t want to forget anyone. That’s the problem with having so many wonderful women in my life: I lost count. But as a friend says, I felt the need to commemorate today somehow.
To the dear friends that talk me through my bad moments, to the wonderful women I want to be like in the future, to the ones that make me laugh, and stop over-thinking, and breath, and just live. To those three that raised me, shaped me, loved me and encouraged me. To the ones I lust over, to the ones I’ve read about and applauded. To all the women that have changed me somehow: happy International Women Day.
Don’t worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?
Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi
On October 15th, 2013 I left Barcelona to pursue a life-long dream: living and working in London. Four months later, I am still here. Right now, I am a live-in nanny in South London to a very nice family and their beautiful dog. I have my own attic room and too much free time. It is not a glamorous life, and trying to find your place in a city like this is more difficult than you could ever imagine. But I am not ready to give up just yet.
And it isn’t only about finding a proper job and finding your place: life in general gets more and more complicated when you try to be a honest adult. The lessons you are taught by time and experiences are very hard to digest sometimes, and they surprise you in any turn of the road when you less expect them.
I think I have changed more in the last four months than I’ve changed in years.
But at least I have one very clear goal: to be able to walk down the street with my head held high, without any shame or regret, and a very big smile.
Life can be quite amazing sometimes. In a matter of weeks, my future changed from black to a light grey, something I couldn’t have even imagined at the beginning of summer. But changes can be terrifying too, and these days are a mix of excitement and fear. Am I doing the right thing? Will it work out? Trying my best to squash that annoying voice in my head, to quiet down all the noise in there. But it becomes too much sometimes, the squeaky demon living up there can be too powerful.
Luckily, there are songs that take over everything and give me peace. Like “Tiny Doors” by Hiatus. I talked about it here, and now it’s the soundtrack to my last sunset, filmed in what soon will be my hometown but not my home.
What I love about language
is what I love about fog:
what comes between us and things
grants them their shine. Take,
for instance, the estuary,
raised to a higher power
by airy sun-struck voile:
gunmetal cove and glittered bar
hung on the rim of the sky
like palaces in Tibet—
white buildings unreachable, dreamed and held
at just that perfect distance:
the world’s lustered by the veil.
Thank you, Amy.